The Song Writing Part of the Writing Life

Dawn and Sam Then and Now

This past weekend my husband, Sam, and I celebrated 30 years of marriage. Although we don't typically exchange gifts for special occasions (other than small, favorite things, such as molasses cookies, or timely items such as tickets to a live concert or play), I wanted to do something especially memorable for this anniversary.

Since we both enjoy live music, and going to concerts together is our most typical date night activity, I thought it might be fun to commission a song from one of our favorite singer/song writers or bands.

I had read about some musical artists providing this type of commissioned service, and I reached out to one of the singer/songwriters we have followed since early in our marriage. She was keen on the idea of participating in the project and asked me for my thoughts on how we might go about it. I told her it was my understanding that most typically the artist would interview the subject(s) to get some background about our life and relationship, and then would write a song with those details in mind. I mentioned to the artist that I was a children's book writer, and that I wished I had a musical background, because I'd love to write my own song. She encouraged me to write my own lyrics . . . and I took the challenge.

I sat down to write, and the words poured out quickly.

One of the constants of the relationship Sam and I have shared for 33 years (30 of those years in marriage) is travel. We are at our very best together when we are planning a trip, taking a trip, or reminiscing about a trip. Since the early days of our shared life, we have held a savings account dedicated to travel. When we accumulate enough funds in our travel account to pay for major expenses like airline tickets and lodging, and enough vacation time to make a flight worthwhile, we start planning a new trip. We've been to some very amazing places in our shared life, and writing about our travels provided focus and structure for my song.

Here are the lyrics for, Travel in This Life With Me:

*****

Our story starts when I was eighteen.

You worked for my dad. We kept the place clean. 

Then I moved on to the retail scene. 

Travel in this life with me.

Holding hands and getting caught.

In ’88 we tied the knot. 

We’ve had it good. We’ve loved a lot.

Travel in this life with me.

Said I do, and dropped the mic.

Near that place we used to hike.

You’re the one I love and like.

Travel in this life with me.

New beginnings. Life as one.

Honeymoon in sand and sun.

Port to port. Just havin' fun.

Travel in this life with me.

Work and college to attend.

Eatin' takeout with our friends. 

Seinfeld humor never ends.

Travel in this life with me.

Weekend trips to camp and ski.

Costa Rica, ninety three.

We were young, and we were free. 

Travel in this life with me.

Easter candles lit in Crete.

Santorini's cobbled streets.

Fresh adventures at our feet. 

Travel in this life with me.

Oh Manado, how we cried. 

Scuba diving. Almost died.

Would the ocean steal your bride?

Travel in this life with me.

Parenthood in ninety nine.

Love those kids of yours and mine.

We’ll survive it sippin’ wine. 

Travel in this life with me.

Dinner table, six o’clock.

Share our day then take a walk.

You will listen, I will talk.

Travel in this life with me. 

Ferry boats and hockey rinks.

Royal Scott and gear that stinks.

Makin’ love and makin’ drinks.

Travel in this life with me.

Pack the van and load some tunes.

Sweet Sunriver, be there soon.

Breathe the pines and chase the moon.

Travel in this life with me.

Reminiscing: Minibus.

Fly to Greece, the four of us.

Memories make it worth the fuss.

Travel in this life with me. 

Little league and basketball.

Parent-teacher conference call.

Off to college in the fall.

Travel in this life with me 

We’ve been married thirty years.

Sharing hopes and dreams and fears.

Love you Sam. I’m glad you’re here.

Travelin' this life with me.

***** 

The artist I had originally reached out to was very kind and encouraging, but she ended up not being able to follow through on the project, so I was back to the drawing board for who I could work with to give voice to my song. We have several musically inclined friends (several of which are in local bands), and I contemplated hiring one of them to work with me. But, before I reached out to any of them, the most obvious and awesome band came to mind: The June Bugs.

The Junebugs Playing in Sunriver, 2016

A couple of summers ago, during one of our family trips to our Sunriver house, there was a Portland band scheduled to do a concert on the lawn at the SHARC. Sam was very keen on seeing the band--truth be told, I was kind of lukewarm about it because it was a very chilly afternoon/evening and I was more keen on staying home. But I didn't . . . and I am so glad I didn't. It WAS very cool that night, but The June Bugs put on an excellent show. We absolutely loved their concert. So much so, that after we returned home to Portland, Sam and I sought out several of their local concerts. We saw them at an outdoor concert in Lake Oswego, and at a venue they play at fairly regularly in Vancouver, and several other local places around town. We've purchased their CDs and added their songs to our iPod, and we listen to them regularly. Even if we can't make their concerts, we have their concerts written in our calendar "just in case." Our kids love to tease us about being Junebugs groupies. They would be the perfect band to bring our song to life. Happily, Moses Barrett, their lead singer was game.

I reached out to the band via Facebook, and Moses was quick to respond. I shared my lyrics and our anniversary date with him, we came to an agreement on pricing, and I offered many caveats about not having any experience with song writing (i.e. I don't know the structural elements needed for a song such as a bridge or a chorus), and that I was fine with them taking creative license as needed to turn my lyrics into a song. Some weeks went by and eventually Moses got back to me to let me know that the schedule would not work for the full band to put the song to music/record it, but he could do something solo. I was still elated with that plan. Some more weeks went by, and one Saturday afternoon, Moses reached out to me and mentioned that my lyrics didn't include a chorus. He pointed out that Bob Dylan didn't really write choruses either and said he thought the song "lends itself to that Dylan long form song poem aesthetic," and wondered what I thought. I loved the idea, but again, said that I knew Sam and I would love anything he came up with, and that whatever he hears when he sits with the words would be just right.

Some more weeks passed, and then on August 7, 2018 at 2:53 PM, a most wonderful email popped into my inbox. Moses wrote, "Hey, so here is the tune. What do you think? ... I have some time in the studio tomorrow..." Attached was an acoustic version of my words put to music. I sat at my computer and cried happy tears. I was overwhelmed with emotion. Not only was it amazing to hear my words become music, it was incredible to hear my life with Sam conveyed in a song.

I hit "play" about a dozen times, then took my phone down to the basement where my teenaged son was chilling out, and I played the song for him. He thought it was pretty cool too. I played it for my daughter when she returned home from work, and she was visibly touched by it, too. She asked me how long it took to write the words. I answered honestly that it took me a day . . . a day and a lifetime.

About a week before our anniversary, more happiness arrived in my inbox. Moses re-recorded the song more formally in the studio. I love both versions, the acoustic and the studio. With Moses's permission, I can share the studio version with you here.

Next came the hard part of waiting to share the song(s) with Sam.

My kids helped me plan the rollout. Our daughter and her boyfriend, visiting from out of town, made us breakfast on our anniversary. Earlier in the morning I had loaded both versions of the song onto Sam's iPod, then as we ate breakfast, I casually mentioned that the Junebugs had a new song out that I wanted to play. Our daughter hit the play button, and Sam proceeded to eat breakfast and simply enjoy the song as background music. This is exactly what I thought would happen, because he does not typically drill down to the words of a song as closely as I do, or as quickly as I do. He just ate his breakfast and enjoyed the song in a general sort of way. We played it a couple more times, one of those times the acoustic version where the words are more prominent, and told him to listen to it more closely. He jokingly said, "Ha, did they write us an anniversary song?" And then he started really listening . . .  and then came the emotions.

"How did you pull that off?" he asked. And then I told him the story of Moses . . .

Thank you, Moses Barrett, for making a special anniversary even more special. Sam loves the song as much or maybe even more than I do . . . I and love it quite a lot.

For those of you reading/listening who love this song as much as we do (or like the story behind the song, or simply like to support artists and their art), be aware that Moses and his band are looking to grow their outreach and their following. They have set up a Patreon page to develop a steadier income flow so they can make their art. You can hear their great sound on this Facebook Live concert they offered up to their fanbase a couple of weeks ago--give them a listen and share their work with others! You can also do like Sam and I have done and buy their CDs and/or catch them live in concert. Here is their schedule (they will be at the Oregon State Fair for SEVERAL SHOWS starting Friday, August 24, 2018). It would be great if you could show them some love!

I've long said that someday I'm going to be part of a girl band (I play a mean tambourine!), and recently I've been thinking it would be a good creative outlet to learn more about writing songs. Maybe it all begins with writing the lyrics to my first love song.

The "Living Life" Part of the Writing Life

Artwork from the Botanical Gardens in Delft

This space has been quiet for the past couple of months because I've been deeply engaged in the "Living Life" part of the writing life. In the past few months I've:

-Celebrated my 50th birthday, and coordinated a book-related service project in honor of this momentous occasion

-Engaged in the political process more actively (and read more political news!) than I've ever done in my adult life

-Experienced the range of emotions associated with my oldest child graduating from high school

-Watched dozens and dozens of sporting events

-Coordinated several big social gatherings (including milestone birthdays, graduation parties, and sports-related gatherings for my kids' tennis and cross country teams)

-Hosted out of town guests

-Played tourist in my own town

-Said final farewells to a longtime family pet

-Parented, loved, and then said farewell to an amazing exchange student who lived in our home for five months and became a part of our family

-Traveled to the Netherlands for an absolutely glorious family vacation that included museum visits, bicycle rides, breathtaking views, meandering walks, and cultural immersion

-Helped my parents and parents-in-law navigate multiple health issues and related doctor visits and hospice care

-Shared stories with my dearest friend's adult daughter while we waited for my friend to successfully pull through a major, all-day surgery

-Delivered my oldest child to college (and said farewell to her close-knit circle of friends who have spent countless hours in our home and around our dinner table, and who have also gone off to college)

-Hosted dinner parties with friends, and hosted an extended visit with my dear friend who is still recovering from her major surgery

-Harvested bountiful amounts of fresh tomatoes all summer long, from the patio planters I planted this past spring

-Filled my soul with sounds of live music at small venues around town

-Watched in awe as gymnasts and ariel artists contorted their bodies at a Cirque du Soleil show

-Baked, read, took long walks, watched a few movies, went on a few happy hour dates with my husband and coffee dates with my girl friends

-Grocery shopped, did laundry, cleaned the cat box, attended to a few emotionally charged situations related to parenting teenagers, and took my car for an oil change or two (it can't all be fun and games)

I've also watched, listened, tasted, touched, breathed in deeply, reflected, and written my heart out.

Living fully inspires me to write more fully. I've been amazed with where the muse has taken me this past few months. Next up: Taking time out to submit the ready work that has been filed away waiting for me to put it out into the world. More on that, soon.

Travel Tips From Dawn

Mexico, 1987

This summer marks the 30th year my husband, Sam, and I have been traveling this world and this life together. Here are some (poor quality!) memory photos of some of our early travels:

Scuba Diving in Cozumel, 1987

US Virgin Islands, 1990

St. Croix, 1990

River Dancing in Costa Rica, 1993

Chil-axing in Manuel Antonio, 1993

Spain, 2014

These days, we travel as a family of four.

We've learned a lot throughout our journeys together. After last year's trip to Spain, I reflected on how my travel experiences were relevant to my creative writing life.

As I prepare for this year's summer travel season, I thought it might be helpful to share the full list of "debriefing notes" Sam and I made after last year's trip.

I hope some of our learnings might make it easier for you to plan your own adventures:

-If a flight has been delayed, don't assume it will stay delayed.

-For a family of four, it is nice to secure two aisle seats. We either book one solo aisle seat and the bank of three seats directly across the aisle in the same row, or we book two sets of two seats, separated by an aisle in the same row. This allows us to separate the kids if need be, and still be able to each have an aisle seat and talk to each other.

-In terms of pacing the trip, stay in the "arrival town" a minimum of 3 nights so you can sight see AND relax (i.e. on second or third day schedule a low key beach day with few/no sight seeing "goals"), OR plan to stay in the arrival town for a shorter period of time, stumble around/sight see in a jet lagged stuper for one or two action packed days, then move on to the next place (that is intentionally more relaxing) and make a point to stay put there a bit longer. (Essentially, build in some down time days in the earlier portion of trip, either in the first town or second town).

-If it's hard to find lodging (due to festivals/holidays, etc), there will be other factors such as crowds and prices, that will influence our overall enjoyment of the location (i.e. take it as a signal that the town might be too crowded for our liking).

-Speaking of lodging, we are HUGE Airbnb fans. Here is the apartment we stayed in when we visited Barcelona last year, and here are the super cool places we're planning to stay in when we visit Italy!

-Spending a chunk of time in at least two diverse locations makes it feel like more than one trip (i.e. Barcelona and Madrid were vastly different, so it almost felt like we took "two" trips to Spain last year. Many years ago, we visited Greece and had a three night "layover" in Paris on the way home. That definitely gave the illusion that we had two entirely different European vacations in one year). 

-In most cases, two nights in any one place does not seem like quite enough time. Transition days are harder days. Better to stay put and get to know a place a little bit better than to push it to travel to some place you just "have to see" that may or may not be all it's cracked up to be. Enjoy where you are. Better to see fewer places and really connect with them vs. spending lots of days in transition. 

-Neighborhood restaurants are WAY better than over-priced touristy restaurants. If there is someone at the doorway greeting you with a menu, it's a touristy restaurant. Go back a few streets and listen for the loud laughter coming out of little restaurants. Those are the local spots. 

-Pack trail mix, dry cereal, baggies, plastic silverware, paper plates, paper towels, toilet paper and hand wipes. A light weight beach towel is much better than a heavy one.  A little bit of clothes line and clothes pins (and some liquid dish soap to wash clothes in) is worthwhile to bring. Cork screws and plastic glasses that travel with us for happy hours in the moment are a must. A small knife for cheese is nice to have (but don't lose it in carry on!). Nothing beats a nice beverage, fresh fruit, bread and cheese, and a good view. 

-Breakfast: In our room or on our rooftop: fresh fruit, bread/jam, cheese, yogurt, ham. Lunch: picnics while out and about during the day. Dinner: out.

-We value having a kitchen, but really the main part of the kitchen we use/value is the fridge (and freezer--because we bring gel packs to keep our picnic lunches cold).

-Printing out an area map (or a screen shot of a map) is helpful in orienting to new places (but each place will "make sense" after about two hours there).

-On reflection, the places/towns we seem to like the most have a river (or some other water feature). We also like old cities with old walls. 

-We also find ourselves drawn to small towns/villages (but remember to check the population of the "small town" and compare it to the population of other towns we've liked. What the tour books describe as "small" is quite variable . . . the population is a solid point of reference to help make comparisons/decisions).

-Be willing to "cut your darlings" (towns/sights to see) if they are too far out of the way from the other main stops for your trip.

-When choosing lodging within a particular town, convert the location to "minutes on foot" in relation to where we ideally want to be near before deciding if the lodging is too far/or close enough to our "ideal location." (Make that a key question when inquiring with hosts).

-It was really helpful to bring our GPS (loaded with map of country we are visiting . . . which we had to order/load ahead of time). This was more of a driving issue, and wouldn't be as relevant if you are not driving. 

-Bring Ebooks and a couple of real books. It's nice to have both options. Plan ahead and load library versions of travel books onto EReaders (though one hard-copy travel books is helpful to bring on trip for ease of navigating. 

-Take photos of key pages in guide books for day trips vs. lugging full guide book around all day. Take photos of maps (this also works for big signs at entrance of towns or major sights). 

-It is worth the additional effort to find lodging with internet access (internet cafes were not as easy to find/use as we hoped).

-Make use of the tourist office (maps, free internet, questions answered), but beware of our tendency to arrive into new towns during siesta when the tourist office (and town!) is closed. 

-Just because it fits you don't need to add it to the baggage. Heavy bags get very tiresome after the second cobbled road and third flight of stairs. Take only one carry-on sized bag and one small back pack per person (because it makes you pack light). You can still choose to "check" one of the carry-on sized bags to transport the liquid items that are harder to take through security.  Day packs are essential throughout the trip (pack them empty or use as "personal bag" for carry on).

-Little games like backgammon, dice and cards are nice to have on hand. Also, a small paddle ball set is fun to have for the beach. Sarongs make a nice, lightweight picnic blanket. 

I hope reading these travel notes gets you excited for new adventures to come! I encourage you to share your own travel tips below.

Happy Travels!

How My Trip To Spain Will Influence My Creative Writing Life

My blog has been quiet the past couple of months. I spent the summer traveling with my family and soaking up life experiences. Now that the kids are back to school, I'm paging through my travel journal. Reflecting. Remembering. Re-living.

After a major trip, like our visit to Spain, our family does a "debrief" to record our most/least favorite parts of the journey as well as our learnings and ah-ha moments. These notes are invaluable in guiding future travel plans.

Some of these debrief notes are practical and logistical, such as, "Flying into one city and out of another worked well for us." Some of these notes are more philosophical, such as, "If it's hard to find lodging in a 'sleepy fishing village' (because our travel dates coincide with an annual festival), realize that even if we do eventually locate lodging, there will be other factors (such as crowds, 'high season pricing' and parking difficulties) that might influence our enjoyment of that particular town. A 'sleepy fishing village' is not very sleepy during a festival."  

As I reflect on my notes, I find myself considering how my travel learnings might apply to my creative writing life. Here are some of my musings:

Travel Note: Every new town feels unfamiliar at first. That unfamiliarity is jarring and destabilizing  each and every time we arrive someplace new. But in a matter of hours we will get our bearings, and once again feel comfortable.

Experiencing the unfamiliar is one of the primary reasons I love to travel, but for me, one of the hardest parts of traveling is experiencing the sensation of instability. When I'm out of sorts, I force myself to push through the discomfort and trust that the view from the other side will be satisfying. I want to find ways to similarly push my creative writing into new, less familiar landscapes.  Let go of my inhibitions. Trust the process. Try new things.

Travel Note: Every town has something to offer. It may not be what we expected or what we hoped for, and it may not be something we fully appreciate in the moment, but each experience is a gift.

This makes me think of the feedback I receive from my writing peers and mentors. It may be hard to hear in the moment. It may not be what I expected or hoped for. It may take time for me to sort through different perspectives and see the feedback as a gift. And, upon reflection, I still may not agree with some feedback. But the nudge to reflect is a gift. It is through this reflection that I become more grounded in my stories and more confident in my own creative instincts.

Travel Note: Pack only one CARRY-ON SIZED bag per person (EVEN if we plan to check one or more of our bags). On a related note, just because it fits doesn't mean you should bring it. Heavy bags are tiresome to schlep through subways, cobbled streets, and multiple flights of narrow apartment stairs.

This makes me think about the revision process. Have I packed my story into the right-sized bag? Am I carrying around extra story weight because I found a way to cram something in that I really don't need? Have I thought about why I originally tucked certain items into my story, and how these items serve this particular journey? Have I been courageous enough to unpack and remove that which is not necessary?

Travel Note: My husband and I value balconies, verandas and window seats with a view. If the kids are already tucked into bed for the evening, or if they aren't quite ready to seize the day in the morning, our quality of 'grown-up life' is significantly enhanced if hubby and I can "be outside," but still close to our "travel home."

I'm not a patient waiter. I get stir crazy when I feel stuck. I like to go, go, go. Now. My family moves at a different pace. Breathing the outside air calms me and helps me feel more alive. Looking beyond the four walls of a rented room invigorates me. The taste of mocha is better in the crisp morning sun, and a glass of wine fills me with warmth and possibility when I'm sipping outside.

Writing for publication is wrought with waiting. Waiting for agents. Waiting for editors. Waiting for the right words to spill onto the page. Waiting for the right ending to reveal itself . . . finally. So I open the windows. I walk. I dig in the garden. I look at the mountains. I breathe in the sun. I bring my ideas outside. And then I write. Warm, and full of possibility. Calm, and alive.  

Hosting an Exchange Student: The Dark Side

I have a dirty little secret: As I've enthusiastically shared my family's positive experiences hosting exchange students, I've received a few reports about others' less than ideal experiences. For example: One person said that her teenaged female exchange student arrived with a suitcase full of birth control devices and a one-tracked mind: Visiting Portland's downtown nightclubs. Apparently "under-aged clubbing" is the norm in the town she's from. Similarly, another person said that her female exchange student (around 14-years of age) was very flirtatious and had inappropriate physical boundaries with her college-aged son (she sat too close to him and tried to sit on his lap). Someone else said that their high school-aged exchange student lit up a cigarette in their house without asking, and another person said their college-aged exchange student told her own (grade school-aged) child to "shut up." Each one of these people said they would never host an exchange student again.

Now granted, I haven't personally experienced these particular situations myself, but I do have to say that in each of these cases, when I heard the host parent explain their "exchange student horror story" (and that was how these stories were characterized), my reaction was that each of these situations were opportunities to learn about others' personal/cultural norms and to teach about our own personal/cultural norms. I realize I didn't have to "live through these experiences," and maybe I'm really missing the boat here, but I don't see the absolute horror in these stories.

I've traveled enough places to know that there are other cultures that are a lot less hung up about sex and sexuality than our culture. A quick visit to the post card section of just about any port town in Greece will illustrate (quite graphically) my point. Different cultures also have different needs for personal space, and different levels of tolerance for touch. Smoking is another area of distinction. I've dined in European cafes where the waiter had a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth when he brought plates of food to our table. Not my idea of appetizing.

Language can also be tricky. Important things really do get lost in the translation. I have to wonder if the family who had to endure their child being told to "shut up" merely missed an opportunity to educate their exchange student that that's an especially strong term in our culture. One of our exchange students had the habit of saying "I want to kill you," or "I'm going to kill you" to my kids. Those are strong words, but we soon realized that it was likely a routine phrasing of something he spoke/heard at home because we read similar references in the emails from his mom (e.g. "I told him I'd kill him if he doesn't behave himself"), and we've heard his grandmother use the term when we've Skyped with her. If this exchange student was going to attend school in our school system, I would have made a point to let him know that he should avoid that particular phrase, but I never did get around to mentioning it. I am curious what the equivalent phrase is in Spanish, and if it's used regularly in casual conversation, or if it's more of a "family thing."

We have had situations come up during our exchange experiences that other folks might have been bothered by. For example, one morning our exchange student stormed out of the bedroom he shared with my son. He was piping mad, and stomped down the hallway, muttering to himself in both English and Spanish. Apparently my son had tired of waiting for his "brother" to wake up (and with all due respect, it was past 10:00 AM), so he started doing noisy, annoying things. Pablo woke to the sound of my son belting out, "God Bless America." He was not amused.

In fact, he was in a grumpy funk off and on for most of the day. It finally came to a head when the boys were in the basement and my son refused to help with a clean up project they were supposed to do together (my son was too tired). Eventually Pablo stormed up the stairs to "tell on" on my son and to argue his case about how infuriating it was that now he was tired: "He wasn't tired this morning. No, he wants to sing all morning long. Now he's too tired to get our work done. . . " And that's when I knew that this kid genuinely felt at home. He was comfortable enough to show his emotions. Comfortable enough to protest the injustices bestowed upon him by his younger "brother," and confident enough to call upon "mom" for help. So I sent him back downstairs and told him this was a problem they needed to solve together. And before long they were rolling on the floor wrestling, and the house was filled with boisterous laughter once again.

How Hosting an Exchange Student Continues to Feed the "Creative" In Me

Hosting an exchange student provided a noticeable boost in my level of creativity. Most obvious is the inspiration to write. Although I've already written several posts about the experience, I find that I still have more to say. On top of that, I'm bursting with new book ideas that relate to some aspect of the experience, and I have two new classes under development that have emerged as a result.

Image From golearnto.com 

I've also delved more deeply into pursuing my long-time desire to become fluent in Spanish. (If you share this desire, I cannot speak highly enough about a self-study program, called Synergy Spanish, that was recommended to me by a now-fluent friend. My whole family is currently learning/practicing Spanish via the self-paced lessons, and I'm amazed at how quickly we're all progressing). I think the process of studying a new, less familiar (to me) language has jostled my brain (in a good, creative kind of way!) and awakened parts of me that had become a bit dozy. As a teacher of language, the experience of learning another new language has been incredibly valuable. I've been reminded, first hand, of how difficult it can be to build vocabulary in a new language and of the importance of tools such as songs, games, and mnemonics to help cement student learning.

Image From Wikipedia

I've also been intrigued by how the language centers of our brains seem to work. For example, both times our family has hosted an exchange student I've found myself signing if I needed to communicate and was struggling with verbal communication. Although neither of the exchange students we've hosted knew sign language, signs came out of me instead of (or before) the verbal words did. My brain seemed to be saying, "I see you're searching in the "foreign language section of our filing system. We have a lot of sign language vocabulary stored in this section. Could this be the word you're looking for??"

I've noticed a similar phenomenon when I've traveled to areas where English is not the dominant language. Everyone is literally speaking Greek around me, and my hands start moving! Similarly, my husband, who took French in high school, has found himself saying things in French as he tries to speak in Spanish. He hasn't studied or spoken French for years, but alas, those words are in his head, and they pop out now that he's studying and trying to speak in another language. There's probably a bunch of journal articles about this phenomenon, (and if there aren't, take note doctoral students and Ph.D.'s: there should be!). All I know is that I find it fascinating, and I suspect it is something that has some relevance to the work that I do. I intend to explore this more deeply sometime in the future.

Image from Wikipedia

Another recent creative burst that is seemingly unrelated to hosting an exchange student are my dabbles with musical instruments. I've picked up a ukulele and started teaching myself some chords. My husband's childhood guitar is sitting by the front door so I can get it restrung and start playing that, too. Both kids have started strumming on the ukulele, my son is enthusiastically practicing his trumpet, and my daughter is exploring some musical apps on her iPad. Coincidence? Maybe. However, I think when you open one door to creativity, many other doors open (or reopen). Sweet.

Which brings me back to writing. There are some direct ways the hosting experience benefitted my writing life beyond what I mentioned in the opening paragraph. The host experience helped me think like a writer. It helped me practice describing things intentionally and precisely so my intended message is accurately conveyed. It also helped me pay attention. To the words. To the non-verbal queues. To my choices, and my kids' choices. To differences and similarities. To my surroundings.

One of the reasons I love traveling is that I suddenly see with fresh eyes. It's also one of the reasons I

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love parenting: looking at the world through the eyes of my children is exciting. It's hopeful. It's magical. But too often I get caught up in the daily grind and stop noticing the world around me. Hosting an exchange student  helped me bring back into focus the unique nature of my world.

I remember the afternoon that we were running errands and our exchange student said, "Is that a GUN store?" Yes, there is a gun store not far from our neighborhood. The red GUN STORE sign outside the building makes it unmistakable. I drive by that store regularly, but don't ever see it. I'd nearly forgotten that last year my daughter said her school bus passed by the store daily, and that a worker often stood outside the store, dancing and waving a sign to bring attention to it. Nice. That's quite a scene to overlook. Thanks Pablo, for reminding me to recognize the story starters all around me. Open eyes. Notice. Listen. Breath. Taste. Touch. Feel. Repeat.

The experience of hosting an exchange student has given me many snippets/story ideas/scenes/ and characters to explore. Many of these morsels are humorous. Like the very first conversation I had with Pablo. He had just arrived to our airport, and we were at the baggage carousel waiting for his luggage. Our plan was to load him into the car and make the 3 1/2 hour drive to Sunriver. I wanted to make sure he had his personal needs met before we hit the road. I asked him if he needed to use the restroom. He replied, "No, I'm just tired." I asked if he was thirsty. He said, "No, I'm just tired." I told him we had food in the car if he was hungry. He said, "No, I'm just tired." Now here is the funny part: My first thought was that this poor kid only had this one phrase in his toolbox. This is going to be a long month, I thought to myself. We got into the car and Pablo immediately zonked out. His snores shook the car. I remember saying, "I guess he was tired." Over the next days and weeks we learned that Pablo had a very rich vocabulary in English. Being one who sometimes needs to get bonked on the head to "get it," I recall asking him about the night we picked him up at the airport. I told him my aim was to get his basic needs attended to before the long car ride. He said, "I know. I wasn't thirsty. I wasn't hungry. I didn't need to use the restroom. I was tired." Ya, I got that . . . eventually!

Image from Wikimedia Commons

There was also the funny mixup we had at our dinner table over the Spanish words pollo and polla. Chicken will forevermore be a bit amusing at our house, and I'm pretty sure I will write some element of that scene into a story someday.

Lastly, hosting an exchange student provided a variety of rich emotional experiences that will strengthen my writing. Falling in love with a child is a cosmic experience. The beauty of falling in love with your exchange student/child is that their arrival does not necessarily coincide with intense sleep deprivation! I don't know about you, but I was in a rummy fog when my two kiddos took initial residency at my house. I fell in love with them for sure, but detailed recollections about how those feelings came over me are a bit sketchy! Hosting an exchange student also provided an opportunity for teenage attraction to unfold right before my very eyes. Not surprisingly, my daughter's friends visited frequently when Pablo was here, and with their visits came subtle flirtation and coy conversations. Great material for weaving a little romance into one of my works-in-progress. And then there was the time when we all had to say, "Goodbye." Yep, those feelings are still fresh in my mind.

Hosting an Exchange Student is a Feast of Learning Opportunities

If I haven’t yet convinced you that hosting an exchange student is well worth your while, here’s another reason: It’s an amazing learning experience for everyone involved. Certainly it’s a learning experience for the student who is traveling, but I’m convinced my family learned as much, if not more, than our exchange student.

The exposure to a second language and another culture is an obvious plus. Our exchange student had a very good command of the English language, so we didn’t have to carry around our English/Spanish dictionary as we anticipated we might, but we did have the opportunity for many “How do you say this in Spanish?” or “Do you have this/do this in Spain?” conversations. These discussions were very enlightening because there are intricacies about a language, dialect and culture that are best learned by conversing with someone who is fluent.

While “Pablo” was in town, we made a point to play several language-based games as a family. We especially enjoyed several rounds of “boys vs. girls” Pictionary (which did occasionally require the crutch of GoogleTranslate). My son and our exchange student had amazing Pictionary synergy. The intensity and excitement when it was their team’s turn to draw and guess was particularly memorable. Pablo would shout out words in Spanish, and hurriedly look those words up on Google Translate, then he’d shout out words in English that were sometimes hard for everyone to understand because of his accent, but my son would understand him and sometimes would lead to him guessing the correct word. They would high five and fist bump and laugh. There were a lot of language skills exchanged and learned during those intense game nights!

There is also the overall motivation factor: There’s nothing like a group of kids sitting around your kitchen table trading forbidden words in each others’ native languages to pique everyone’s interest in fluency. The reality is that our entire family is much more interested in learning and practicing Spanish now that we have an “extended family” in Spain that we want to be able to communicate with. I have bookmarked the language learning software available through my local library and I continue to keep in touch with “Pablo’s” mom and grandma via email. They are helping me with my Spanish, and I’m giving them an opportunity to practice their English. My son has downloaded Spanish apps to his iPod, and I’ve loaded a series of Spanish lessons to my old phone so I can listen and learn while I walk and/or drive. I’ve checked out a heap of Spanish/English picture books from the library that the kids and I (and our new friend, “Google Translate”) are muddling through together. My daughter is setting steep goals for herself in her Spanish language classes in high school next year, and my husband is initiating daily conversations about plans for visiting Spain in the near future.     

Which brings me to another key learning opportunity: Geography. Although I’ve been to Europe several times (including one brief visit to Seville, Spain), my understanding of the geography of Spain increased immensely because of our exchange experience. After Pablo arrived, the whole family gathered around maps of Spain to understand where Madrid is (where Pablo is from) in relation to Seville (and in relation to the beach Pablo visits with his dad, and the beach his Grandma was visiting while he was in Oregon, and the island his Mom planned to visit later in the summer . . .). I had no idea the southern tip of Spain was so close to the northern tip of Africa. Because of Pablo, the geography had relevance, which motivated us to learn and helped cement the information (Note to self: Find ways to make learning relevant when teaching, too).

Near the end of Pablo’s homestay, our family spent an evening “walking down the streets” of his neighborhood using Google Earth. We saw his school, the tennis courts he plays on, the pool he swims in, the park that’s across the street from his flat, his grandparent’s flat, his Dad’s neighborhood, the home of the most famous goalie from Madrid . . . We even looked at our own house via Google Earth. We could tell how long ago the picture was taken based on the vehicle parked in our driveway, and we could infer that the picture was taken in the summer because of the color of our lawn!

After Pablo left, we researched the size of Spain compared to Oregon using this really nifty comparative tool. And we’ve all become experts in the time zone differences between Oregon and Spain (having all set the “world clock” app on our e-devices to Madrid time and periodically checking to see “what time it is for Pablo”).

Pretty cool, huh? And there’s more! Stay tuned. In my next post I’ll talk about how hosting an exchange student satisfied the teacher as well as the learner inside of me. 

The Best Stay-Cation Ever: Hosting an Exchange Student

Summer is a time when I slow down on my teaching/appearance schedule and focus on renewing my creative spirit by traveling and exploring the local area with my family. This summer has been abundantly fulfilling for a variety of reasons, but one particularly special aspect was our decision to welcome an exchange student from Spain into our home for the month of July. This is the second time we have hosted an exchange student, and both experiences have been amazing. I can’t tell you how much we have learned and grown as a family and how much I have learned and grown as a parent, educator and human being. 

I have decided that hosting an exchange student is the ultimate stay-cation. Prior to “Pablo’s” visit, the kids and I brainstormed different places we’d like to share with him. We kept adding to the list right up until his arrival, and continued adding more ideas after we got to know him and learned more about his interests. Happily, he was open to just about anything we suggested, and we were in “full steam ahead” mode to pack as much fun into the month as we could!  

We picked up Pablo from the airport on a Tuesday evening about 9PM, and drove straight to our favorite local vacation spot: Sunriver. We spent four days in Sunriver getting to know each other and exploring Central Oregon. We did a slow float down the Deschutes, we went to a Bend Elk’s baseball game, (we ate hot dogs, red vines, and popcorn, and watched the 4th of July fireworks show), we rode bikes, played basketball, volley ball, and board games, picnicked by the river, and spent a day at South Twin Lake.

When we returned to Portland, we invited family and friends over for visits, we had a late-night feast at Voo-Doo Doughnuts, we went to library summer reading events (where the kids all got Henna tattoos), and took daytrips to Mirror Lake on Mt. Hood and Tolovana Beach on the Oregon coast. We pitched a tent, fired up the fire pit and roasted marshmallows in the back yard, and we had movie nights and sleepovers in the basement. We went to Oaks Park and a local arcade, and we played ping pong, and kick ball and tennis. 

We saw Multnomah Falls, went berry picking at local u-pick farms and visited the Washington Park Rose Gardens. We hiked in Hoyt Arboretum, climbed trees, and went on a neighborhood bike ride organized by our local park system. We watched Glee, and played Skip Bo and listened to music (and would have done karaoke had I been able to get our machine working!). 

We went to favorite restaurants and food carts, shared family meals around our kitchen table and took walks to special spots for sweet treats. We learned words in Spanish (I can’t tell you all of them), we explained words in English, and we laughed. Oh my goodness, did we laugh.

The only downside to this experience is that eventually we had to return this kiddo (who quickly became a member of our family) to the airport and exchange tight hugs and fond farewells. Our house is quieter now. We are all catching up on some much needed rest. We are reminiscing about our fabulous month and grieving the absence of our brother and son from Spain. We are practicing Spanish and motivated to learn more. We are exchanging emails with Pablo and his mother and grandmother, and the kids are both talking about wanting to do their own international exchanges some day. Our family is already talking about plans for visiting our “familia en España,” and we are hopeful Pablo (and his family) will visit us again in Portland.

One of the reasons I write is because I want to express the experience of living, but I must live to have experiences worth sharing. I have been soaking up living this summer, in large part because of our exchange student’s visit. Stay tuned, friends. In future posts I’ll write about other aspects and observations related to this wonderful experience.