When To Use Signs Such as Want, Again, and Please

Building on the question I answered in last week's blog post, today I will discuss when it might be useful to introduce more intermediate signs such as "want," and "please," in addition to more basic signs such as "eat"/hungry" and "more."

In the early developmental stages, babies' language and conceptual categories are very broad. Food is Milk. Over time, a new category for food develops: crackers. As more time passes, more categories for crackers develop: fish crackers, graham crackers, saltine crackers.  As even more time passes, even more sub-categories for crackers develop: cheesy fish crackers and plain fish crackers; regular graham crackers and chocolate graham crackers...you get the idea.

Photo © freefoto.com

Language acquisition follows along in this pattern. In the beginning, basic signs like "eat"/"hungry" and "more" will apply to many of the concepts your baby will want and need to convey. As I discussed in my last post, even though your baby likely means "I want" when he signs "more," the basic concept s/he is trying to convey is "bring me the things I need and want!" Over time, his or her wants and needs will become more specific: "I want more food." "I'm feeling hungry."  "I'm hungry for bananas." "I want more bananas."

All that said, once babies start signing, it's not at all uncommon for them to start babbling in sign. Picture this scene: You're on a walk with your baby. S/he is making all kinds of vocal articulations. Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak. This is verbal babbling. It's not uncommon for signing babies to likewise babble in sign language. Their hands will be moving like crazy. You'll see the sign for banana. You'll see the sign for apple. You'll see the sign for cracker. It's not that your baby necessarily wants any of these things right now...he is just yaking about the things that are important in his world.

But then at some point on that same walk, you'll see him sign milk. It will be emphatic. He will sign it over and over again. You might even see both hands going.  THIS is a baby that's ready to add the sign for "want" (and/or "please") to his repertoire." You might find yourself saying, "Do you want your milk? Here's your milk." Or, you might say, "Show me please and I can get your milk for you." Good job. Here's your milk."

Now, granted, if this particular baby is really hungry for milk, or it's getting close to nap time, or he or she has an intense temperament, dragging out the conversation like this (with our without signing), is likely going to lead to a frustrated baby.  You'll have to be the judge as to the right situations and timing to introduce these more intermediate concepts and signs to your baby. The overall point I'm trying to make is that your baby will reach a point when they will sign about things they don't actually need or want at that moment, and there will be times that they do in fact want what they are signing for. When a baby has reached that level of sophistication in their communication, they are ready for more intermediate words that can enhance their communication.

Photo Courtesy of Fotopedia

Quick side note: Some of you are reading this and thinking, "Hey, my baby has been signing please for months. It was one of her first signs..." It's true. Many babies do sign please very early, and a tee tiny baby signing please is an absolutely darling sight to behold (not to mention, it makes us look good as parents when our babies appear to be mannerly). Here's the rub: In my experience, most babies that sign please early are likely using that sign as a substitute for the more general concept of "I want" (similar to the discussion in my last post, re: babies who sign "more" when technically they mean "I want"). So, you can kid yourself all you want by thinking that your baby is mannerly, when in fact, more realistically, he or she is using a symbol that we associate with manners (please) with a concept that they associate with getting their needs met (bring it on...). But not to worry. It does look darned cute when a baby is rubbing their chest ferociously to convey their desire for something. And I'm all for darned cute! In fact, if YOU have some cute pictures of your baby signing, I would love for you to share them with me so I can feature them in a future blog post. Get in touch if you do. Cheers! Dawn

Why Does My Baby Use the Same Sign for Everything?

Using the same sign for many things is very common and very comparable to what happens when a baby learns to verbalize (with or without signing). When I explain this developmental process in my workshops, I start first with the verbal process, since that is more familiar to many of us. For example, when a baby learns the word for a "ball," they might say an approximation such as, "Ba!" We are so excited that they've learned the word for this object, and we respond with positive reinforcement by cheering them on, giving them the ball, etc. In time, the baby will likely point to other favored objects (such as the kitty, or their daddy, or the dog, etc) and say with great enthusiasm "Ba!" Our very natural parenting reaction is to respond with enthusiasm, knowing they are trying to say another important word, but they haven't developed the new vocabulary yet.   So, for example, we might say, "That is the kitty. Here kitty kitty. Nice kitty." When they see the dog and say "Ba!" we will say, "Yes, that's the dog. You like the dog don't you?" We don't correct or draw attention to the "mislabel." We use our natural interactions with baby to gently and casually give them a new label for this motivating object. Over time they begin to hear (and experiment with) these new labels.   The same process happens with signing. If your baby's first sign is more, it is likely reinforced with your actions and enthusiasm, and saying more is therefore rewarding for your baby. In the beginning, the sign for more may be the only word in your baby's toolbox when he or she wants to say something. So...when he or she looks at the kitty, he might sign more, and when he or she looks at the dog, she might sign...more. If you can decipher from the context what your baby is trying to communicate when he is eagerly using his "one word vocabulary," then respond to him with something like, "Yes, Evan, that is the kitty. This is how you sign for kitty" all the while showing the sign for kitty.  He may not "look" directly at you the first (or tenth!) time you do this (re: he will be looking at the kitty!) but if you keep with it, he will start to "catch" you doing the new sign...and he will start looking from you to the kitty and back again, to see what you are doing/saying with your hands--especially if you use his name during this labeling conversation. In addition, if you now know that he wants to have a label for kitty and doggy, etc, you can make a point to emphasize those signs during playtime and/or when you read (i.e. sing a silly song about kitties while you sign for kitty; bring out a soft kitty toy as a prop and pet the kitty, then sign for kitty; point to pictures of cats in books and show the sign for kitty...you get the idea). Over time your baby will learn that there is a unique and distinct label for all of the wonderful things around him...then your challenge will be keeping up with him as he points at something and looks at you expectantly for a new sign!

Label When You're Able, Part Two

Last week I wrote about signing in context, or labeling. This week I'll expand on that post by addressing some of the most common questions I receive about this topic:

Q "When should I sign a particular word?"

A. Typically the questioner does not mean at what age or stage should a particular word be signed, but rather, when, during the communication interaction, should the word being signed be signed? And this is where I say, relax.  I find that when people ask this sort of question, it is because they are over-thinking or over-stressing about signing.

Think about how naturally we gesture by pointing when we say something like, "It's over there." We don't over-think or over-stress about exactly when to point, we just point as part of our communication interaction.  The same goes for signing. If you are saying to your baby, "It's time for a diaper change," at some point in the conversation, sign diaper or change. You will do enough diaper changes over the course of the weeks and months to come, that your baby will soon get the idea that the sign for change (or diaper) goes along with the experience of getting a clean diaper, and that that sign is different than the one you do before bath time or the one you do when you get a cracker out of the snack bag.

Q. "My hands are usually full when I'm trying to sign with my baby. Is it okay to sign one-handed?"

A. My first answer to this question is, "Yes, it is fine to sign one-handed." I find that the more comfortable and familiar you are with signing (typically because you've been singing and signing regularly), the more naturally you will sign, even when your hands are full.  Just like you might make a one-handed gesture to indicate something was huge, likewise, you can make a one-handed version of a sign for cookie, by making the cookie cutter motion in the air vs. on your inactive hand.

That said, I find that when people say that their hands tend to be full when they are trying to sign with their baby, it's usually because most of the signing is happening during a task time, vs. during a fun, playful time, or during a more relaxed, conversational time. For example, when you are trying to change your own baby's diaper, depending on the baby, that can be very much like a wrestling match. That might not be the most ideal time for you to be chit-chatting and signing about the event!

However, when there is another nearby baby getting their diaper changed, you can easily take the time to talk about that, and add the sign for change or diaper to that conversation (i.e. "That baby is getting her diaper changed, isn't she?")  Likewise, you can make the sign for change when you're reading a book about a baby getting a diaper change, or when you are playing with dolls, and you change the doll's diaper.  All of these interactions are opportunities to sign with your baby, and they are opportunities that occur outside of the experience of changing your own baby's diaper. I find that signing in these non-task contexts builds up your muscle memory for signing, and the next time you have your baby in your arms and you are heading in to do a diaper change, your hands will start to form the sign, somewhat automatically, as you say the words, "Let's get your diaper changed." When you've internalized signing to the point of signing automatically, it seems more natural to join the verbal word with a sign, even if the sign is only being done one-handed.

Q. "What are the best words to start signing?"

A. I encourage people to start by signing words that they suspect their baby most wants to say. By this I mean, if your baby is really into balls, learn the sign for ball and incorporate the sign into your communication.  If your baby loves trains, get to know the sign for train. If you eat a lot peas, and your baby seems to like peas, learn the sign for peas.  To repeat my earlier point, label when you're able, let your words be your guide. Make a point to listen to yourself talk. Listen to the words you say frequently. You will notice that you tend to talk about the things around you, the things you are doing, and the things your baby is interested in.   These are the first words you should learn the signs for and incorporate into your conversations with your baby.

In summary:

Casually provide sign labels throughout the day.  This will get easier and easier as your own sign vocabulary grows.  Learn new signs as you need to through online dictionaries, sign language glossaries, books, videos, and instructional workshops.

Provide sign labels in “real” contexts and during surrogate contexts, such as when you read and play.

Place emphasis on those words you use a lot and those words that hold interest for your baby. Use your natural tendency to provide verbal labels as your guide. 

You can label with signs at any age!  

Next week I'll talk briefly about teaching key focus signs, then I'll move on to a more general forum of common Q and A's.   

Put It to The Wheels on the Bus Test

I don't think there are right or wrong ways to sign with your baby, just like I don't think there are right or wrong ways to sing and play "The Wheels on the Bus."  Certainly there are right or wrong ways to make a particular sign, but in terms of the "how to incorporate signs into your communication" aspect of signing, I don't subscribe to the notion that there are right or wrong ways. When people ask me, "Is it okay if I....?" or "How do I....?" or "What if I....?" my standing answer is, "Put it to the Wheels on the Bus test." By this I mean, how would you answer the exact same question if you were singing and playing, "The Wheels on the Bus" (or "Patty Cake" or "Peek-A-Boo") with your child?

For example, it's fairly common for class participants to ask if they should sign with their right or left hand. I explain that although most ASL dictionaries are written for right-handed signers, you can choose your right or your left hand to be your dominant or active signing hand. That's typically the hand that moves (or moves the most) when you're making a particular sign. When I answer this question, inevitably someone will ask, "But what if I sign with my right hand and my parenting partner signs with his or her left hand?"

So, let's put that to The Wheels on the Bus Test. What hand do you "Beep-Beep-Beep" with? What hand does your parenting partner "Beep-Beep-Beep" with? Is it the same hand? Whether your answer is yes, or no, the more important additional question is, "Have you ever contemplated this issue before?" (this issue being the possibility of you beep-beeping with a different hand than someone else who loves your baby...) I suspect no, and I encourage you to likewise not spend time contemplating who signs with what hand with your baby. Your baby will not likely develop his or her own hand dominance until at least preschool or kindergarten. Your baby will see you signing (or waving, or pointing or writing) with your dominant (most comfortable) hand, and when they begin signing (or waving or pointing or writing), they will typically begin by alternating between hands...i.e. whatever hand doesn't have a cookie in it, is the hand they will likely use to sign MILK (or, if they're really enthusiastic, they will probably sign milk with both hands, simultaneously!)

Okay, so here are a couple of other  common questions: "Is it okay to manipulate my baby's hands to help him or her make the signs?" or "Should I make the signs on my baby's body?" Let's put these questions to The Wheels on the Bus Test: Do you ever hold your babies hands/arms and help them go "round and round" or "swish, swish, swish?" Do you ever "Beep-Beep-Beep" on their nose? For some of you, the answer is, "Absolutely!" For others, your answer might be, "It depends." And it does depend...Some babies like to have their hands manipulated and/or have signs made on their body. Other babies do not.

My daughter used to hold her hands out towards me and say, "Help, Mommy," if she was trying to make a complicated sign. My son used to arch his back and say, "By myself!" if I tried to manipulate his hands to help him form a sign. Two different kids. Two different personalities. Two different preferences. Two different answers. How did I know what to do? I paid attention to their nonverbal queues. If your child doesn't like having his or her arms moved for them in the "round and round" motion for "The Wheels on the Bus," they likely won't like having their arms moved for them to make the handshapes for signs. If your child giggles when you Beep-Beep-Beep on their nose, they will likely giggle when you make the sign for APPLE on their cheek.

So, what are your questions about signing? How would you answer these same questions if you were singing/playing "The Wheels on the Bus" instead of signing? Generally speaking, I hope your answers give you peace of mind and help you relax and have fun with signing. If you're relaxed and having fun when you're signing, you'll likely sign more often than if you are feeling stressed or rule-bound while you're signing. If you're signing regularly, your baby will catch you signing more often and will eventually start copying you. Once they develop the cognitive and physical skills to copy you, they are just steps away from being able to sign independently to communicate their wants and needs. And then the real fun begins!

Stay tuned. More on this later!

Why Do I Like to Write?

(My Cat's Feedback Revealed)

When I visit with young writers, I am often asked, "Why do you like to write?"  Here are some of the many reasons I share:

- I like words.  They are powerful. They get things done. They help people understand one another.  Words give people a voice. I like when my voice is heard.

-I like stories.   I like to listen to stories and I like to tell stories.  

-I like to read.  Reading is an important job for writers.  The more I read, the better I write.  Since I'm a writer, I get to read a lot.

-I like poems and rhythm and rhymes.  I like to put words together in ways that are fun to read and hear out loud.

-I like to learn.  When I'm working on a writing project, I usually get to learn something new.   Maybe I discover a new word, or a meaning of a word that I wasn't familiar with.  Maybe I discover something new about myself that I hadn't thought about before.  Maybe I learn something new because of the research involved in the story I'm writing.  Learning is exciting to me, so writing is exciting to me.  

-I like to teach.  My words help other people learn things they might not have known before.  That makes me feel good inside. 

-I feel like we all have important things to say, and when we take the time to say them in written form, instead of just out loud, our words, ideas, and opinions are more lasting and meaningful. They also can reach more people.  The words I have written have found their way to faraway places like Australia, Singapore, and Germany.  These are places that would be more difficult for me to visit in person.  Because I write, my words can go to these places, even if I cannot.  That said, since I write, I've had opportunities to travel that I might not have otherwise had (and I LOVE to travel).

-Writing helps me meet new people.  Because I write, I get to answer questions from young readers and sometimes get invited to their school for an author visit or I get to “meet” readers and young writers via technology like email, video chat or Skype. That's a really fun part of my job.  

So now it's your turn.  Why do YOU like to write?